East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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