Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
