On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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