whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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