i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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