I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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