My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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