This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
