You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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