So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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