dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
