remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
