I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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