he was CRYING into my vagina
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
