508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
