New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
