she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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