Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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