What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
