im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
