...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
