Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
