So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have aggressive nipples.
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