nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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