Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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