I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
