Your dad touched me again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
