you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
