I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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