Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
