I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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