she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
