I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A bitchslap is in order.
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