so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
