there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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