Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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