If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
