My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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