i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize