Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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