omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
