ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
