I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
