it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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