Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
