legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
