I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
