Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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