And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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