the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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