Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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