My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city