I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
