a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
