you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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