is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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