My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize