We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
