i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
