Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
