Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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