I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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