we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
