Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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