how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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