I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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